Before I moved here, I always thought that Atlanta had the hottest and most successful men. I met a few came to visit them, but it just never really worked out. Since moving to Atlanta, I have not been focused too much on dating as my focus has been to grow my business which I have been successful at so far (s/o to God).
However, as I am a single and an attractive young black female (tooting my own horn), I have been on a few dates just to see what it’s like. My friends who have lived here already have told me “it’s not what you think, the men here are trash, the men are either on the low or they a hoe” and I wanted to see for myself. I was even told that its best to find someone and then move here, because love is almost impossible to find in Atlanta. Based off the demographics, there are more women here than are men. I’m not sure what the percentage is for how many men are gay or bisexual, but there are a lot, and that reduces the possibility of a relationship for us women, therefore the competition is high. Finding a straight, loyal and attractive man in Atlanta is rare.
So, unless I get swept off of my feet by someone who just moved here, I realized that I have a better chance of finding love outside the city. But from the dates I have been on, it gave me a little more insight on the Atlanta Dating Life.
Speaking of, so I met this really cool guy who was Nigerian, by the way, there are A LOT of Nigerians and Africans here, which is really dope. The conversation was really good and so was the vibe. However, since he’s new to Atlanta just like me, he was telling me about his experiences of getting hollered at by gay men. They even went to the extreme of air dropping him picks of their genitals while they were in the same area. I guess that’s why some men get turned out because of situations like that.
Another thing is, a lot of men who I’ve met have invited me to their house or apartment on a first date status. That’s not my style, like why can’t we go out in public? If a dude asks you to come over to his house so he can cook for you, just simply decline his offer. He’s being cheap with you, and therefore, you need to be cheap with him and tell him you can’t afford to give up your time since he can’t afford to take you out. Let’s be clear ladies, Atlanta is foodie city! There are thousands of great restaurants that he can take you to, but if he wants you to come over to cook for him, that’s a red flag.
What if he sucks at cooking? What if he plans to put something in your drink and then rape you? You are responsible for your level of comfortability when it comes to a first date.
SN: So, I got asked to come over so this guy could cook for me and since I found him HIGHLY attractive (light skin, tall, straight teeth, hazel eyes), I went. First of all, he had on slippers and basketball shorts which I thought was offensive but could not be mad because it was his house, of course he’s going to dress comfortable. So anyways, he cooked, but then after we ate, he tried to come on to me and I had to reject him and because I felt uncomfortable, I left.
When I left, I blocked him. I really had no need to explain myself to him because I already knew what his intentions were, which were different from mine. Therefore, I will NEVER go to a dude’s house so he can “cook for me” on a first date status, no matter how fine he is. I think going to a guy’s house is more like a 4th or 5th date status, when you really know who he is and most importantly, what he wants.
I just remembered this other story that I think is supplemental to this article. I went to this popular African club the other day and met another handsome guy who I knew was older than me. He was from Senegal and seemed like he was doing very well for himself-dude had on a suit at the club! So anyways, he asked me to meet him at this lounge on the next day, and I did. He bought me drinks and hookah and we just kicked it. Then after we left, it was like 1am, and I was hungry and he suggested Waffle House and that I could ride with him-I don’t care how fine you are bruh, I’m not riding in the car with you if I don’t know you like that-so I told him no, I’d rather drive my own car and he seemed a little sad but it is what it is. So, I followed him in his 2019 Audi to Waffle House. The conversation was pretty good, he told me he traveled a lot and invited me to go with him to Paris in two weeks (as I’ve told you guys before, I’m not about that flewed out life anymore) and I said “I’m good love, enjoy.” Then he said the Waffle House was right by his apartment, and invited me over and I told him no.
He then went on to say that he just wanted to show me his rooftop lounge, because it had a great view of the city. I love views, but I hesitated at first and then I told him yes, that’s fine. So, we went, and of course, it was beautiful up there, it had hammocks, cabanas, a pool table, pool, the whole 9 yards. So, after staying for about 15 minutes up there and chatting, I asked him if had any kids (just a random question). He said he had 4 and it was by the same person. I asked what ever happened to him and her, he said they were married and are currently separated--------I died on the inside and calmly asked why aren’t they divorced and he said he’s not ready to marry anyone yet and doesn’t feel like going through the paperwork to file for one. At this point, I was like ok it’s time to go home. On the way down the elevator, he kept trying to kiss me and invite me to his spot and I had to reject his offers. Of course, when I got to my car, I blocked him.
I swear my life is like an episode of Next from MTV, do they still play that anymore?
After this experience, I learned that it’s better to get to know someone from the initial conversation before linking up with them. It can be a little difficult to do that when you meet someone in the club because of the music, but it’s possible. That way you aren’t giving your number out to someone who is not qualified, and then you’re not putting yourself in awkward situations on a first date.
Needless to say, it’s been about 4 months since I moved here, and still no luck. It’s not like I’m looking for a man, they just come to me and the ones that are coming to me, are the wrong ones! They always want me to come over and chill. Charleston dudes would at least offer to take you to Red Lobster (lol-but I’d prefer that because those biscuits are to die for). I’m like “c’mon Atlanta, you can do better than this”. But at this point, it’s above me now and unless God sends me a man who’s willing to take me out on a decent first date, with good quality manners and is single AND STRAIGHT, I’m just going to keep telling these men NEXT!